I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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