my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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