he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
