I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
