i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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