I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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