We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
