My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize