The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
