Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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