Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina

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(847): View more from Illinois

she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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(+34): View more from Spain

what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.

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(562): View more from California

she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend

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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.

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(303): View more from Colorado

DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN

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(907): View more from Alaska

Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska

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