Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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