Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize