If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
