and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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