Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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