hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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