never play flip cup with pint glasses
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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