this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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