I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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