Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
