i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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