dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
