i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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