in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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