it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Drunk is not a location!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
