Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize