everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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