i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
