I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
