this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize