I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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