you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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