so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.