I could have mohawked her pubes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
