Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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