What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize