hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
