If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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