I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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