Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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