Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
