Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
