We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
