accomplished twins. life is a go
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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