Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
