i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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