what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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