There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
