I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize