I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
