It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
