My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
dude. I can hear the air.
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