I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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