I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
