I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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