what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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