Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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