I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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