6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
